You know the basic traffic laws -- stop at a red light, obey the speed limit, don't drink and drive....
But this is America, land of the free and home of the make-it-up-as-you-go-along, so in addition to the standard traffic laws, there are some weird and wacky ones out there.
Some of them are specific to activities common in that town or state, and some of them make you wonder why someone had to tell you it's illegal to do that.
10. Screeeeeech!
In Kansas, it is illegal to screech your tires. That's a state law, but there are also local ordinances to back it up.
In Derby, Kansas, for example, it's part of a standard traffic ordinance that any act which causes or creates "unnecessary rapid acceleration, unnecessary tire squeal, skid, smoke or slide upon acceleration or stopping including the casting of tread, gravel, dirt, or other road surface materials from the tires" is illegal. Also any acts that "simulate a temporary race".
So, I'm curious. If my tires squeal due to the evasive action I have to take because some jerk just pulled out in front of me, do I get the citation, or the jerk?
The penalty is a fine up to $500 and/or imprisonment up to 30 days.
9. Eureka! Wake up!
In Eureka, California, it is unlawful and an infraction to sleep in any public space. That might make you think park bench, but they go so far as to add tht you are not to sleep on any sidewalk, ally or STREET. That's right, they have to tell you not to sleep in the street.
The offense, should you live to be penalized for it, is classified as a misdemeanor and punishable by a fine up to $1,000 and/or up to six months in jail. Narcoleptics beware!
8. Kentucky Doggie
In Fort Thomas, Kentucky, it is illegal for your pet to "molest" a vehicle. Yes, that is the actual, unforunate legal term used in the city ordinance for "animal-related nuisance".
The idea of this section is that it is illegal for a pet to cause "annoyance, discomfort or injury to the health and welfare of persons in the communit". The ordinance states that that includes "molesting pedestrians or passing vehicles".
It is unclear if they were just being thorough or if doggie molestation of cars is common here. In any case, the penalty is that animal-control officers have the right to impound any animal and issue a citation to the owner. Of course, if your dog has a habit of molesting vehicles, you probably already knew you had problems!
The penalty is a fine of up to $500.
7. Dunkin', No parkin'
Yes, doughnut cravings can be powerful butif you're in South Berwick, Maine, they can also be expensive. If you park in front of the Dunkin Donuts, you will be ticketed. Specifically, the Dunkin Donuts on Main Street "to a point of 25 feet south".
No, it's not so police officers can always be first in line. It's actually part of a longer list of no-parking zones to "avoid conflict with other traffic". In this particular case, there's a school right next door and the road isn't big enough for parking -- parking there would block traffic. Of the seven locations listed in this section of the town ordinance, it's worth noting that this is the only one that specifically names a business -- "No parking in front of the Dunkin Donuts". They were probably so sick of hearing the excuse "oh, I'll just be in and out in five minutes," that they decided to spell it out -- no, seriously, no parking on Main Street IN FRONT OF THE DUNKIN DONUTS.
The penalty is a fine of up to $175 and/or jail time of up to 30 days.
Hope you enjoyed that donut!
6. Watch your mouth.
If you're not going to listen to your mother and keep your language clean, you're going to have to answer to the law in Rockville, Maryland. Here, it's illegal to swear within earshot of other people, whether you're on a street, sidewalk or highway. That means even if you're in your car, you're going to have to use your talking-in-front-of-the-kids voice.
The penalty is a fine up to $100 and/or jail time up to 90 days.
Does this include the rude driver who cusses me because I'm on my bicycle and "in his way"?
5. Keep it clean.
This time we're not talking about your language -- we're talking about your car. In Minnetonka, Minnesota, it is considered a public nuisance, and therefore illegal for a "truck or other vehicle whose wheels or tires deposit mud, dirt, sticky substances, litter or other material on any street or highway".
All violations of the Minnetonka code are subject to fines up to $2,000 but a spokesperson for the city said the city "attempts several other measures to mitigate the situation before pursuing misdemeanor charges". So, do they hand you a roll of carwash tokens, or what?
4. Keep it on.
This is also something you shouldn't have to tell people outside of a nude beach but in Sag Harbor, New York, it is illegal to take your clothes off in your car.
Sag Harbor, out in the Tony Hamptons section of Long Island, is a popular spot for beachgoers. So, this section of the code is part of the parks and recreation law -- that you have to be wearing a bathing suit in public and you can't disrobe on the street or in your car or in any other public place.
The penalty is a fine of up to $100 and/or jail time up to three months.
3. Just roll with it.
Roller skating may seem like a harmless hobby but if you do it in the street in Canton, Ohio (other than crossing the street, or course) -- that's illegal.
That section of the Canton code also applies to "any coaster, toy vehicle, skateboard, or similar device".
That penaly is a fine of up to $1,000 and up to six months in jail.
How much allowance would you have to save up to pay that fine? Does that include Sonic waitresses?
2. Time's up.
In Oregon, no dilly-dallying with your car door: It's illegal to leave a vehicle door open to the side of traffic, pedestrians or bicycles "for a period of time longer thna necessary to load or unload passengers".
The penalty is a fine of 490 and possible jail time.
So, what if your car doors open up like the one above?
1. Rats!
In Hilton Head, South Carolina, it is illegal to store trash in your car.
Specifically, that section of the code states that it's unlawful "to place, leave, dump or permit to accumulate any garbage, rubbish, or trash in any building, vehicle and their surrounding areas in the town so that the same shall or may afford food or harborage for rats".
A violation is considered a public nuisance and is subject to a fine of up to $500 and/or jail time of up to 30 days.
Rats?
Every state has silly laws, and fortunately law enforcement usually have entirely too many major problems to deal with rather than enforce them. However, there is a new law that many of you may not know about.
In the state of Oklahoma, it is against the law to travel in the left lane for more time than is necessary to pass slower traffic on major highways. Violaters may be ticketed up to $200. So, to you, silver Honda who traveled the entire distance from Tulsa to Oklahoma City on I-44, in the left lane, do not give me a dirty look when I flash my lights at you to move into the other lane. It's also against the law for me to pass you on the right.
Though this law isn't silly, the fact that it exists, is. Rules of the road, ladies and gentlemen. Learn them, know them, USE them.
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